Issue 59 - The Biltwell Issue.
Gwen: [whispering] "Richard! Richard, there's a man... in his underwear... in your kitchen."
Richard: [whispering] "It's ok. He's with me. He's my, um... my butler."
Gwen: "You have a butler?"
Richard: "Yeah, it's okay, shh... he'll go away."
Jack, Richard's Dad: [walks back from the kitchen, spots Richard andGwen on the couch] "Oh. Oh! I didn't realize you had company. Goodevening, young lady."
Richard: "That's all right, Monroe. Yes, would you just go lay out my blue pinstripe for the morning?"
Jack, Richard's Dad: "How about if I lay you out?"
Richard: "Very well."
Rod: "Ok, the safe word is WHHiskey.â€
Kevin: "Sorry, Rod, What was that?"Rod: â€œWHHiskeyâ€
Kevin: "Don't you mean Whiskey?â€
Kevin: "You're saying it weird."
Rod: "Saying WHHat WHHeird?"
Kevin: "All of it."
Rod: "WHHere do you get off?"
Kevin: "I just don't get why youâ€™re saying it that way?"
Rod: "I'm saying WHHat, WHHat WHHay?"
Kevin: "Forget it."
Rod: "I WHHill! I WHHill forget it!"
Billy: "I'm a chain belt in Kung Fu. Bruce Lee was my teacher. (fake karate move and screaming) That's the 'quart of blood' technique. Do it,
quart of blood drops out of a body."
Inmate 1: "Tell him how you beat on the cop."
Billy: "Cops, plural! Beat the shit out of ten cops and had to change my whole strategy around."
Inmate 2: "When they brought you in and booked you, you was crying like a pussy."
Inmate 3: "Yeah."
Billy: "The cops threw tear gas in my face. I still walked in like a man, so get outta my face."
Inmate 2: "You beat up a man, putting him in hospital. How come I don't see marks on you?"
Inmate 3: "Yeah."
Billy: "Cos I'm a karate man. Karate men bruise on the inside. They don't show their weaknesses. You don't know that, motherfucker? Now
get off my back, all right!"
Cameron Poe: "Put... the bunny... back... in the box."
Car Rental Agent: "Welcome to Marathon. May I help you?"
Agent: "How may I help you?"
Neal: "You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick... 4 fucking wheels and a seat!"
Agent: "I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me."
Neal: "And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now."
Agent: "May I see your rental agreement?"
Neal: "I threw it away."
Agent: "Oh, boy."
Neal: "Oh, boy what?"
Agent: "You're fucked."
Dalton: "Sorry, we're closed."
Ketchum: "Then what are all these people doing here?"
Dalton: "Drinking and having a good time."
Ketchum: "That's why we're here."
Dalton: "You're too stupid to have a good time."
Peewee: "Hey, Terror! This guy just said we look like a bunch of pricks with ears!"
Joey: "I didn't say that! I didn't say that!"
Peewee: "Oh yeah! What did you say?"
Joey: "I said, uh, you guys look like a bunch of, uh, ears without pricks!"
Glenn: "Robbie Hart? Oh, man, I heard what happened to you at your wedding, that was so cold! You must've felt like shit!"
Robbie: "No, it felt real good, thanks for bringing that up, man. Hey, my parents died when I was ten, would you like to talk about that?"
Glenn: "No, why would I wanna talk about that?"
Robbie: "I don't know."
TJ: "See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it?"
Deuce Bigalow: "Where?"
TJ: Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it?
TJ: Stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring.
Billy Brown: "You adore me, you love me, you cherish me, Jesus Christ you can't live without me. I'm asking you to come there and make me look good. Alright? And if you make a fool out of me, I swear to God, I'll kill you right there. Boom! Right in front of Mommy and Daddy. And I'll tell you something else, you make me look bad... I will never ever talk to you again, ever. But if you do a good job, well, then you can be my best friend. My best friend that I've ever had. You hear me?"
Stoney: "Um, Robyn Sweeney, bro? She's not going to the prom with you, man. I wish she would, but she's really not."
Dave: "What are you talking about? Robyn Sweeney is mine. She's become a major babe, and she loves me."Stoney: "She finds you crusty, Dave."
Dave: "I'll convince her! She'll see the truth."
Stoney: "The truth is bro, life's about greasing the 'do back, buddy, and wheezin' on the buff-fest, man. High school was interesting, alright? It was kinda like a harsh ride. Ah, ah..."
Dave: "Yeah."Stoney: "If you're edged 'cause I'm weazin all your grindage, just chill. 'Cause if I had the whole brady bunch thing happenin' at my pad, I'd go grind over there, so dont tax my gig so hard-core cruster."
Bud: "Look at those assholes, ordinary fucking people. I hate 'em."
Don: "You got some fuckin' neck ain't you. Retired? Fuck off, you're revolting. Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin. We could make a fucking suitcase out of you. Holdall. Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard. You look like fucking Idi Amin, you know what I mean? Stay here? You should be ashamed of yourself. Who do you think you are? King of the castle? Cock of the walk? What you think this is the wheel of fortune? You think you can make your dough and fuck off? Leave the table? Thanks Don, see you Don, off to sunny Spain now Don, fuck off Don. Lying in your pool like a fat blob laughing at me, you think I'm gonna have that? You really think I'm gonna have that, ya ponce. All right, I'll make it easy for you. God knows you're fucking trying. Are you gonna do the job? It's not a difficult question, are you gonna do the job, yes or no?"
Carolyn: "Uh, whose car is that out front?"
Lester: "Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule!"
Frank: "I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time."
College Student: College student: "A big day? Doing what?"
Frank: "Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time."
Rembrandt: "They think we shot Cyrus."
Vermin: "What are you talking about? I don't get it."
Rembrandt: "They think we shot Cyrus. Every gang in the city must be looking for us!"
Cochise: "Holy shit!"
Rembrandt: "We're not gonna be able to make it back!"
Rizzo: "I've got so many hickies people will think I'm a leper."
Kenickie: "Relax... A hickie from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card, when you only care enough to send the very best!"
Rizzo: "You pig!"
Kenickie: "Oh, I love it when you talk dirty!"